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tell me that you love me more.
a feeling never dies.
this is the bad month 
20th-Feb-2011 05:43 pm
I can't get worse then this, or else it's just foreshadowing for my death.

Last Thursday I had a bad fall and I bruised and hurt both my knees, my hand and elbow. The kicker: I sprained my neck.
Yesterday, my ankle tripped on nothing because my ankles sometimes give out, I hit my knee but I got up and was like, wow I'm dumb and I laughed about it with the girl who was at the cash (I was at work)
Then I go to stand at my computer and then I feel fuzzy, like a big head rush, and then the sides of my vision start to go dark, but in like sprinkle mode. 
THEN, I am floating or swimming and I am relaxed and enjoying sleep, but all of a sudden I think I am not supposed to be sleeping I'm supposed to be at work, why am I sleeping. Then I realize that I am shaking. Shaking fucking hard. My eyes open and the shaking stops and I wake up and I'm on a floor. It's black so it's not my floor. I see a Bureau en Gros sign and I realize that I am at work. 
I fainted.
I try to lift myself up off the ground and I can't. I scream for the cashier and I am crying and freaking out and don't know what happened. There is blood on the floor and my head is swelling up like a balloon. 
My manager comes running and her and Ashley are talking at me but I can't figure out how to answer them. I can speak and function but I am freaking out. I burst into tears and collpase on the ground and can't handle it. We figure out that I cut my hand and that's where the blood is from. But I hit my head on like a wood laminate dresser on wheels. And it moved. Far from where it was supposed to be. So I hit my head on that and then smacked the ground.
My manager calls my mom to come get me and they try and figure out what happened. I for at least 30 can not stop crying. I am a mess of fluids all over my face.
And it's the one day I decide to wear mascara..... really life? really?

so we go to the hospital and tell the girl at the check in desk what happened, then go and sit down. less than ten minutes later I am called into triage. I tell the story again, she tests some things, feels my head and the bump. Walks away, comes back and says okay follow me asap. They admitted me right away which was scary because I am used to waiting. But when the nurse feels your head and then checks you in asap, that is fucking scary.
so I had to checked all over, poking and prodding. Then came the I.V, and she tried to get blood from the IV but that didn't work. So she had to use another vein, then I had another I.V (so I now look like a heroin addict). Then went for X rays of my hip, and knee. And then waiting. I had to be observed for 6 hours. I am wheeled into the middle of a room surrounded by sick old people. So on top of the biggest head pain I've had in my life I feel like I am going to catch something.
My bump was so big I could put my entire hand on it and not touch the non-inflammed part of my head. I couldn't even feel the ice pack at first. They only gave me two tylenol-for gay.
I went for a cat scan and they kept jostling the stretcher. And when they were wheeling my from place to place I was getting the worst motion sickness. But I am bffs with Craig the Orderly now.
Results came back and said everything was normal, but I do have a concussion. OBVIOUSLY. I hit my head two seperate times, bound to be a bit concussed. So I got perscribed more drugs and was finally able to put my clothes back on and then I went home.
I have bruises all down my right hip and I still have pain and dizziness.
When I went to get my perscription filled I was trying to read the business cards and I couldn't read it. My vision couldnt focus I couldnt do anything. I got confused about how to get out of a corner, I couldnt open my meds and I burst into tears. My limbs just didnt want to cooperate at all.
I hate this.

This is going to be the only hospital visit for me this year. period.

way to have a nice relaxing weekend eh? NAHT.
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